


do i wanna know?

by writingdice



Series: 50 followers Tumblr Giveaway Prizes [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 04:16:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16885455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdice/pseuds/writingdice
Summary: Amnesia!Stan falling for his brother all over again. Even if he can’t remember, he knows there must have been something between them. Why else would he have spent 30 years working on bringing him back?





	do i wanna know?

**Author's Note:**

> this is @aleja09isthebest.tumblr.com prize for being one of the winners on my 50 followers giveaway.

The days on the Shack are calm after “Weirdmaggedon”; the citizens of Gravity Falls take into the reparations of their homes and cleaning the damage done to the town. 

Stan is mostly kept away from doing anything. He wants to help but everyone keeps telling him that “he’s done enough”.

* * *

 

He’s never left alone, the people who live with him at the Shack take turns to keep him company. He enjoys talking with all of them; but he loves talking specially with Mabel. 

The girl brightens up his day considerably with her jokes and easy smile. Something about her makes him remember something he must have lost way before his amnesia.

She always brings the scrapbook with her and they look at the same pictures over and over. It’s soothing and calming to an ache deep in his mind, makes it easy to talk with everybody. 

Sometimes he even remembers things and details without Mabel having to tell him. On those occassions the kid starts celebrating like its the Fourth of July and its the best thing he has ever witnessed. He loves spending time with her.

* * *

 

Dipper is not as open and extroverted as Mabel but Stan doesn’t mind even one bit. They watch through a collection of old movies together. 

At first Dipper starts quiet but with time he talks and talks over the movies, providing commentary of the first time they watched those movies, what happened and who was there; even going as far as repeating the jokes that Stan told. Stan remembers his sense of humor because of Dipper.

One time Dipper confesses to him that he’s afraid he’ll never completely remember them. It was something he said without thinking and soon after he apologized. The kid looked like he would cry with each awkward laugh and “sorry”, so Stan did what he thought would work best.

He hugged him.

“Gr-Grunkle Stan? …Are you hugging me?”, Dipper tensed under his arms and trembled as he stated the obvious.

“Nope”, Stan quickly embraced him harder and gave him a noogie.

“It’s a chokehold!”

After Dipper’s laughter died down and his pleas to stop worked, Stan saw him smile a little easier and if he also saw some tears… He didn’t mention them.

* * *

 

Soos talked to him at any chance he got. The man-child was always in a good mood and didn’t bother to hide his love and admiration for him. 

Stan didn’t completely remember who he was and what he’d done in his life; he’d have nightmares of cold nights spent behind a wheel and on a lonely basement, of chewing his way out of a car and doing multiple crimes at the same time. 

But if a guy like Soos, who was always friendly and kind to everyone he met, gentle and caring to those he held close… If a guy like Soos could see him as a father figure then… he was a good man after all.

* * *

 

Wendy seemed distant and would mostly just stay on the same room as him, usually reading a magazine and giving one word replies to his attempts at conversation. At first he thought that she just didn’t like him as much as the others and was only helping them on keeping him safe.

But then he saw her worried eyes and trembling hands behind the false appearance of an uncaring teen.

Whenever he had an ache on his back she would be ready to go and bring him his orthopedic pillow and painkillers. She would gently remind him the dosis and where he usually put them, in case she wasn’t around and the others didn’t know where to find them. 

Whenever he had some trouble moving through the Shack she would be ready to take him by the arm and gently help him on remembering the rooms and how to get to them.

Whenever he froze while speaking and started to panic ‘cause he couldn’t remember what he had been saying she would be ready to explain him calmly what they had been talking about.

She would leave notes on the nightstand beside his bed in case he forgot the things she helped him remember. She cared about him. She just couldn’t quite say it, but he understood what these things that she did meant.

And it always made him feel warm.

* * *

 

Ford was not what he seemed. He seemed indifferent and reserved, but he always looked out for the younger twins and was kind with both Wendy and Soos.

He was awkward, saying the wrong things at the worst possible times. He didn’t seem to notice but when he did it was a real fun show to watch. He got absorbed in what he did and he gave his everything to it. Ford always seemed to be amazed and interested on the new things he could learn.

Of all the family members he had to remember, and they were quite a lot, Ford was perhaps the most complex and difficult to decipher and understand.

Ford was distant at best and overbearing at worst. Sometimes he would spend their time together either writing, reading, or fiddling with a bunch of junk that somehow he would turn onto artifacts beyond Stan’s knowledge and imagination. Other times he would watch him like a hawk; telling him not to do this or that, worrying about every step he took, and always questioning if he needed or wanted anything.

Stan would appreciate his concern a little more if he just gave him some space. Fuck’s sake, he might be an amnesiac old man but he wasn’t completely helpless! No, he couldn’t remember a lot of his life yet; and no, he wouldn’t be able to tell you on which drawer the silverware is.

He knew sometimes he forgot things he had already learned but he was getting better with each day because of Wendy’s notes and him spending more time in the Shack.

But Ford would insist on getting him the glass of water he wanted to get up for, would insist on giving him a back massage while he watched tv, would insist on the most ridiculous and probably unnecessary things.

He wondered why his brother kept acting this way.

Stan had been told their past by both the children and Ford himself. But somehow he knew there was something missing, something that he hadn’t been told.

Stanley wanted to remember Ford; what they were and how they felt about each other.

He needed the missing piece. If life ever gave Stanley a mystery to unravel all over again this would be it.

* * *

 

As the days went by he got better. Eventually almost everyone stopped watching over him; they still came to sit down and talk with him, but they felt more relaxed now that he had mostly remembered them. Ford was with him most of the time.

On a Saturday evening Stan asked Ford for book reccomendations. This seemed to catch Ford by surprise as he looked at him with a confused frown. Then, he stood up, went upstairs for a couple of minutes and came back with a battered paperback copy of “The Old Man and the Sea”.

Stan thanked him and started reading. He distantly remembered reading the story a long time ago in a broken down library. Stan finished reading an hour later and requested another book.

“Really?”, Ford asked with the same confused frown again.

“Yeah? A guy can’t read a couple of books or what?”, Stan replied annoyed.

“It’s just — You were never really fond of reading when we were growing up”, Ford said in a sheepish tone as he stood up for more books.

“Well, I guess it’s something I got from the road”, Stan said with a laugh as he kept his memories for himself.

They spent the afternoon reading together in silence.

* * *

 

Stanley looked at the darkness in the woods from the couch outside The Shack; listened to the wind moving the leaves and trees. He shuddered and took a sip of his Pitt Cola. It was a humid and windy night. He couldn’t sleep.

The door opened with a creak and Ford sat down next to him. Wordlessly, Stan offered him a can from the cooler next to him. A sigh and a gulp later, Ford started to talk about their shared memories of Glass Shard Beach.

Ford talked in a soothing and warm voice about the day they found a broken boat and dreamed of it taking them on an endless travel all over the world.

He could see and feel the sand clinging on his sunburnt skin. The sound of waves crashing on the shore and seagulls reaching his ears. The colors of a sunset right infront of him and the words of a promise escaping his lips.

“Do you remember?”, Stanford asked with tears on his eyes.

Stanley smiled and cried with him.

Later, Ford made him breakfast. It was 4 AM and the sun hadn’t even rised yet, but they were laughing at the same memory from their childhood while eating pancakes and bacon.

Mabel and Dipper woke up with the smell and they all had an early morning breakfast.

As Stan watched Ford laughing at Mabel’s jokes he almost choked on his coffee multiple times. Something was happening.

* * *

 

He looked through his room and office for anything that could trigger his memories. He found a box full of fake IDs and a couple of newspaper articles; old and faded pictures of his younger years, tacky clothes, knuckledusters, and various golden items.

Some of them just gave him trivial day-to-day memories, most gave him highly unpleasant ones.

He also discovered a copy of a High School Yearbook. Ford’s picture was there but not his. A stinging sensation of burning shame and guilt made him throw the book away from him and flee the room.

Ford found him a couple of hours later sitting on the clear on the woods where he woke up and forgot everything.

“Was I always such a disappointment?”, he asked with bleary, unfocused eyes that kept staring up at the sky.

Ford didn’t say anything, just took him by the arm and guided him back towards The Shack in pensive silence. 

“You were never a disappointment, I just never appreciated you enough. I’m sorry”, Ford hugged him before they stepped inside. Kissed his forehead and nuzzled his hair.

Stanley felt justified on hanging tightly to Stanford for a few minutes.

* * *

 

A fresh breezy morning as he woke up and heard Ford knocking on his door and telling him that breakfast was ready. A similar memory came back and he suddenly understood what had been missing and what he actually felt for his brother, what Ford must have meant for him… What his true feelings were.

He would have liked to say that the realization made everything easier, but it only made him feel like it only made things more complicated and painful. Many of his memories were just a feel of sadness that had been buried deep inside of him that resurfaced and took any other feeling away.

Sometimes he wished he could forget again.

And yet, somehow, remembering how much he actually loved and cherished Ford made him feel lighter and relieved.

Relieved because he had made it: his beloved Stanford was back home and safe; they were living and learning about each other together.

And he had gotten a second chance at falling in love with him all over again.

As he opened the door and looked into his twin’s eyes he saw as Ford recognized the change in him. 

“Hey, Sixer”, Stanley smiled and Ford did the same.

“Hey, Stan”


End file.
